this pretty much sums up my attitude towards people lately.
in other news, i am spending a week in the country with my best friend.
she is feeding me and staying up late to watch horrible television with me.
we go for walks in the evenings and talk about nothing and everything.
it’s not long til i go home again, but it’s nice to know i still have somewhere to belong while i’m still here.
(Source: leilockheart)
yeah, that’s me in the right corner, getting serenaded via the Internets.
(also, crying.)
Just a few more weeks, I know but
I miss my love.
I miss my darling.
On Being Pro-Love
I have written about 10 versions of this post since Obama finally came forward and shared his views on same sex marriage. I was overcome with so many emotions when I read about it and it’s taken me a few days to get my head together. It’s become real for me on a whole new level, and I want to talk about it honestly and openly.
So here it is.
Obviously My stance on this whole thing is clear. It always has been.
Love is Love is Love.
I can’t see how anyone could see it any other way. I can’t imagine how someone could look at another couple and deem their bond not worthy of a basic human right. Just because of who they love.
It seems so unjust and cruel that when I hear the words: “I don’t support gay marriage” come out of anyone’s mouth, my blood turns cold for a second and I want to cry.
It seems like an overreaction right?
Maybe a little unreasonable even.
I know a lot of people think my stance is part of my supposed assimilated persona. You know, that thing where I jump on whatever the most popular social justice bandwagon is? Yeah that.
If I was doing that, surely I’d have gone vegan and thrown away my tv by now?
That’s not going to happen, by the way. For two reasons.
1. Bacon and Ice cream.
2. That new HBO show, ‘Girls’, that everyone is totally jizzing about right now. I need to get in on that.
But today, I realised a few things.
This isn’t about my amazing gay friends. And trust me, these kids are some of the most quality people you will ever meet. They will make extra-ordinary parents, leaders and pop cultural icons one day- this I know for sure.
Of course I want them to be able to be married. Like for reals married.
I want them to be able to adopt kids without discrimination, as well as benefit from all the other things us heteros take for granted.
And when they do have a bunch of little ones, I want us to live in a society where there is no stigma surrounding gay/lesbian families.
I also want to be the fabulous godmother. (Please take note of this, Adam.)
This isn’t about G-d or history or christianity or the even the supposed sanctity of marriage that everyone and their great aunt with a bible is shouting about.
There is a massive part of me that wants to use this as an opportunity to bring in the Kim Kardashian fiasco that we are being subjected to right now. But that’ll make me get really snarky and uppity and I’m trying to be gracious and fair.
Up until recently I took gay rights on as a social justice issue, completely removed from my own experience. I’m not gay, and a lot of people have asked why it mattered so much to me. Of course my response was some indignant “OMG HOW CAN YOU JUST STAND THERE WHILE PEOPLE ARE BEING DENIED CIVIL RIGHTS AND SAY IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME?”
But today, I can tell you why it matters to me, on a deeply personal level.
It matters because I am sitting here with six tabs open on my browser, making wedding plans with my maid of honour. And I know, in the deepest part of my heart, that the commitment I am about to make to the love of my life is significant and beautiful. And how dare we deny that to anyone else.
And now, more so than ever before, I want to say “Yes, I support gay marriage.”
- Because I support humanity’s right to love whomever they choose and in turn commit to whomever they choose in a legally and societally recognized way.
- I support the way that gay marriage will provide homes for thousands of children who don’t have parents.
- I support the steps we are taking towards tolerance and acceptance.
- I support change in mindsets and equality in everyday life.
Yes, yes, yes. I support gay marriage.
Not because of Obama, or my friends or my sense of social injustice.
But because of me, and my belief in Love above all else.
Love is everything, and everyone, regardless of colour or creed or sexual orientation, should be allowed to celebrate it as thus.
I am pro love.
And that’s the only reason I need to take this stand.
That’s all I have to say about that.
“And he sailed back over a year
and in and out of weeks
and through a day and
into the night
of his very own room
where he found his supper waiting for him
and it was still hot”rest in piece, maurice sendank. we’ll eat you up, we loved you so.
(Source: what-callie-said)
oh kitty.
if you were mine, i would call you ‘Bill Cosby’, feed you pudding and knit you ugly sweaters.
you would never look forlornly into the distance ever again.
(Source: mockingmyhamsandwhich)
Flashback 101
Lately, every drive I take, every place I visit, and even conversations I am in the middle of, turn into little time machines. I tune out for a few seconds, then find myself in a memory I seem to have forgotten.
We were at the Ocean Basket in town.
Then I remembered the day my dad had a fight with my mom in the middle of a restaurant. How my sister never took her eyes off her plate and I didn’t want to finish my food.
I was staring at my beat up Mary Janes in a queue.
Then I was going to Kalk bay on the train for the very first time with Caeri and being worried about wrecking my new shoes on the cobble stones.
I heard Katy’s mother laugh.
Then I was watching videos at the bottom of the stairs with Katy when we were kids, listening to our parents getting wasted upstairs because we won a cricket game or something.
I read the word: “Harpy.
Then I was in 8th grade and a bitchy girl told me to go fuck myself.
I had no idea what she meant.
I was cleaning up my desk.
I remembered the way my copy writing lecturer moved his hands when he was trying to make sense of a stupid idea. His face was crinkled like a piece of paper that had too many rubbed out mistakes on it.
We were walking out of a club in Observatory.
I could taste first underage drink. It was a jack and lime and it tasted exactly like rebellion. The burn went all the way down to my toes.
I saw a burning cigarette butt on the curb.
Suddenly, it was the night Jack had burned a hole in my dress with his cigarette, filling the room with the smell of burning velvet. I gave that dress away soon after because I thought I might love him, and he was so young.. I miss it now.
I was taking my afternoon walk.
I heard the sound of my fake chuck taylors hitting the mall tiles as I ran to the record store where the cute guy worked. He was far too old for me, but I didn’t care. He came to my 16th birthday party, and I felt like the coolest person that ever lived. I can’t quite remember his face anymore, but he wore a lot of union jack printed vests. I bet he still does.
And so it goes on.
Constantly.
My mother says my it’s just my mind’s way of sorting through what’s going to happen after the waiting is done. Everything in me is clearing out my proverbial brainspace, making sure I don’t forget who I used to be completely.
It’ll be alright, eventually.
It’s messy right now.
But clean starts take time.
